Day 17 - Wander and Wonder

After years of persuading Micky, we finally managed to do the Macritchie walk this morning.

I have this new-found love for walking, which I dread mentioning, as I have never been able to sustain it before. But then I was never able to sustain blogging before, either! This gives me hope. :)

I have never been the exercising kinds, but I can dance for hours endlessly. This morning I felt the same high after having walked around the reservoir simply listening to sounds of the forest, the ripples in the water and the drones of the dragonflies. The trail was beautiful and I felt rested and at peace as I walked. 

Micky after his initial, habitual phone calls couldn't help being drawn to the zen scene and ultimately we both sat down to just watch the rays of the Sun sparkling and jumping in water. It was beautiful and magical. 

                                               Couldn't resist taking a selfie for Neetima! 

The scenic trail...

Serenity

We saw a few Buddhist monks meditating close to water. It made perfect sense. What better place to achieve a state of zen?

Happy calmness is certainly my state of mind today! Can't wait to get back here and have been thinking of friends who would love to be here. 

Day 16 - Pleasure or Happiness?

The day was spent reading beautiful poems, TED talk transcripts and my favourite E.E.Doc Smith D'Alembert Science fiction series. A relaxed weekend made even better with sizzling pakoras in the morning rains, followed by a simple pahari lunch and a Korean bbq for dinner- it was a day of pleasures indeed! Ordinarily I would have called it happiness but a quick TED talk from Matthieu Ricard brought things into perspective. What I define as happiness may be just a simple day of pleasures but do pleasures lead to happiness? 

I don't know. 

This kept playing in my head the whole day, till I saw a facebook update from a close friend. A quick whatsapp chat and an evening full of memories and thoughts brought some things into perspective. 

I am happy not because I am eating good food but that I am eating with family and friends.

I am happy not because I have shopped and been places, but because I do this with my friends and family.

I am happy that I listen to music and share it with my friends.

I am happy that I read and share it with my family. 

I am happy that I have my family and friends with me........... physically or not, I have them always connected. 

Happiness...........I need to understand it better.

Day 15- The joy of giving

My date bailed big time on me today! I had cancelled my Girls' day out 2 (sequel!) to go on a date with Micky, but, he needed to get back to work, on the one holiday he had planned with me... the disappointment was huge and I needed to walk it off, with some retail therapy at that!
So off I went........ to spend the vouchers that Neetima was given on her 16th birthday- she is 18 now! Malls in Singapore tend to shut down rather quickly but this one had made two years and I wasn't going to test my luck any further.

Since the Zen mode is still on, I decided to invest in something that I knew would get used at home, which is a challenge in a shopping mall. Seriously, there is so much stuff we don't need! Anyway, I managed to spend the vouchers, walked to my favourite Toast Box for a cup of tea, walked around doing the touristy stuff, looked at people, trinkets, patterns all around (have been meaning to do a photography project on that!), enjoyed looking at the ex-convicts' run colourful, musical rickshaws, hungrily looked at the delicious smelling pork knuckle in Brotzeit- debated ordering it but didn't as it was too big to be savoured alone, missed my foodie friends, and walked agenda-less to where my feet took me. Loved it!

I found an almond-milk choco bar in Jason's Marketplace and couldn't resist buying it. Haven't had a choco bar in 15 years! I wanted to savour every lick, so rushed to get a cab.

The cab ride, after almost four hours of non-stop walking was a treat to the feet. I could suddenly hear very faint sounds of Buddhist chants and looked around to see if we were crossing a Chinese temple, till I realised that the chants were actually playing in the cab. I asked the cabbie to increase the volume.

He promptly increased the air-conditioner temperature! We hear what we feel is being said many times. This was certainly one of those.

So I repeated "No, the air con is fine. I want to hear the music, the chant. Can you make the volume higher?" The cabbie was obviously pleasantly surprised. The two of us happily listened to the chants till we reached. I paid him the fare and thanked him for the music when he took out the cd and asked me if I wanted it. His gesture was so spontaneous and so heartfelt! I didn't want to impose so I asked if I could take a picture of the cover so that I could buy it. He was happy to share the name with me and said that I could get it anywhere in a cd shop.

Grateful to have met such a generous soul.......... happy at my luck and the learning.

Day 14- Music, Market, Memories

Years ago, I worked with a music teacher, fresh off the boat! He was a kid with amazement and wonder in his eyes, a 'me, myself and I' attitude and his basic degree in music. Children loved him, parents did too......... old teachers couldn't understand his wonder, new teachers couldn't understand his enthusiasm.. it would pale theirs... and soon he stopped fitting in. He and I came together for one project and it was the first time he had ever danced on stage. He couldn't get over the experience! He wanted to do more of it, so we came together again for three more projects and soon we developed a lovely relationship where he shared every music project with me and I taught him how to dance. I became his teacher-mentor and advised him on his lesson plans and teaching practices. He, in turn, shared his passion for music with me. He left the school soon and after a teaching stint went back to learning. He went to Africa to sing and dance with the tribes, he got a scholarship to go to Colombia to learn music, he learnt salsa and even completed a dissertation on Indian music and its influence on Western music....and sent me his research paper!
I spent the morning reading his dissertation, of which I couldn't understand more than half! What amazed me was his effort towards understanding of Indian music and the depth of his research. It was a humbling experience. He knew that I would not understand much of his research but had faith that I would read it. I was touched.

I have had a day of interesting reads. I read my friend's Market report. He too knows that I have limited understanding.... but his skill in playing with words makes it an interesting read. Again.... touched that he chose to send it to me.

A long walk through the local markets felt invigorating. It feels good to be alone in the crowd. Allows me to soak in the experience at my pace without feeling the need to maintain conversation or social graces. I can stare, ignore, pause, walk away, show interest or not...........at my pace. Absolutely love an agenda-less, unplanned walk!

Micky and I finally met for dinner at a Japanese Shabu Shabu restaurant. Ended up in a place called Honeymoon Desserts (ugh!) and almost ordered frog testicle skin in milk for dessert! YIKES!!!!!! Thank God for Google and the sense to use it before ordering! We finally ate some sago in coconut cream - safe, boring but a palatable idea.

Read a beautiful poem on facebook which capped the day.

जीवन कितना भी बड़ा हो बायोडाटा छोटे ही अच्छे माने जाते हैं

http://kabaadkhaana.blogspot.in/2009/03/blog-post_746.html

Ready for bed after a contented day. 

Day 13 - Girls day out and a Heart break

So the day started with a simple plan of girls day out.... and what followed was pure madness. The three of us- Shenaz, Niru and I shopped, tried clothes, perfumes, accessories, ate, shopped again, took selfies and unashamedly laughed out in seemingly sombre shopping malls. Haven't had such a mad day in ages! That certainly contributed to the happiness factor for the day....

A call from my little one though, broke my heart at night. She had had five injections on one day for her immunisations before her hospital placements and they were hurting her at night. She was obviously in pain and cried her heart out for the first time. It was 2:00 am for her in Melbourne and she couldn't sleep because both her arms and shoulders hurt. I talked her through her first bout of pain. Then called her again in a while and Micky and I talked to her. Micky's basic medical knowledge is always comforting and practical. We managed to get her to a drowsy state, then set up our alarms for four am (which would be seven in Mebourne). 

She sounded better in the morning which was good. I managed to catch some sleep off and on as we kept up on whatsapp. 

And then I receive this message from her.... "I listened to Salsa music while getting ready in the morning so that was all good........"

A peaceful feeling settles in... We all have to go through our share of pain but self-awareness can  help the time go easier with conscious positive actions  to make us happy. So happy that Neetima knows this and is able to use it. 

Love her.

Day 12 - The Magic pocket and the invisibility

Teaching young children is the most invigorating profession............... and managing their parents the most demanding one!

In my role, I get the privilege of meeting children from all classes and age groups. From the unreserved affection of three years, to the bright-lit-up pride of six years, to the shy smiles of eight years and the unreserved 'I will respect you if you are cool enough to demand it!' attitude of 11 years old children, I see it all everyday. I love meeting them, talking to them, teaching them and learning from them. Teaching and learning is a passion, a way of life for me.

On one of my rounds to a Kindergarten class, I talked to a group of children about their free drawings. One little one explained me her drawing in detail. It was a princess named Katelyn who was going shopping. I asked her "How would Katelyn go shopping?" The child promptly drew a boat next to her princess. "On a biiiig boat.". I persisted... "Where do you think Katelyn will get the money for shopping from?". I wanted to seize a teachable moment and tread in the lines of how shopping needs money and how we need to work for it, etc.
The little one had a knowing smile and pointed at what looked like a tiny, accidental speck to me. "From here."
The one big thing I have learnt in years of teaching is that one should never assume or interpret children's expressions unless invited. So I looked at the speck deep and hard and said , "Tell me more".
"This is a Magic Pocket. It is full of money. Katelyn just digs in when she needs money. It never gets empty."
The creativity fascinated me. The four year old had so much of the story woven in her drawing.
I dropped my idea of teaching and decided to learn instead. Not every answer at the age of four ... or perhaps even at the age of forty... needs to be set in practicality. Imagination needs to be fueled at all ages and all stages.

We all have our Magic Pockets, which may not give us money but we often dig deep into them for our happiness. Many small and some big pockets... we all have them. Sometimes you draw from them, sometimes you just pat them and feel content in their presence..........
My friends and family make my very deep pockets feel full at all times and it makes me happy.

I couldn't stay on for a longer conversation with this little one. The next morning, I met her mother and asked her if she had seen the picture. The mother hadn't. So I shared my experience with her. The mum asked if we taught children the value of money and where it came from. The concept of Magic Pocket was lost as she didn't even consider it and said that her daughter was fond of drawing and drew many many pictures all the time and that she was so busy that she hardly had time to see them.

I guess her Magic Pocket would remain invisible for the time being!

Days 11 - Zen

Since the last few weeks, ever since Neetima's left, the home looks extra cluttered! I am amazed at the extent of my needs (Micky is a saint!).

I am a hoarder... of memories and teaching materials in particular! Teachers are renowned for hoarding worksheets, ideas, readings, books etc and I am no different. Shelves and shelves are full of books that might come in handy some day when one of my students asks me a question about..... kinda stuff!

Memories.... Neetima's stuff in particular is hoarded in every nook and cranny of our house. Her portfolios are housed in our drawing room, her special cooking stuff in the kitchen, her clothes and make-up in all three bedrooms, her books all around the house (including those in Japanese, Italian, Spanish and German that she has hoarded as she loves languages!).......... As I write this, I realise that this is a happy similarity to my dad.

Neetima was born on January 11th, exactly 17 years after dad died. My family has an unspoken element of belief that this was my dad reincarnate, as he loved me too much to let go. My aunt, bless her soul, was the only outspoken one who mentioned her belief to me every once in a while. Neetima does have many similarities..........her love for food, language, medicine and her gentle calmness, uncomplex view of life and humility are a genetic handover from dad.

As parents we indulged Neetima to the maximum possible without pushing her into the boundaries of 'head in the air and feet ungrounded' zone. I, on the other hand, re-lived my childhood, with and through her...............which means that our house now has plenty of stuff that has been minimally used, in spite of my love for the environment and being a self-proclaimed mini Eco-warrior!
So a few weeks ago, when re- calibrating life after Neetima left for university, I decided to go the zen way. I promised to throw away/ use fully/give away at least one thing each day till I reach the bare minimum required for survival plus some indulgence when I feel like it.
At the moment it seems simple enough!
As I was going through the shelves I found Neetima's school portfolios. And one of my happy moments for the day..................